There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
