then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
