Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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