What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
NoShamevember. You game?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
