brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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