remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
