Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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