he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
