Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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