one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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