I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want to make out with him forever
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
