So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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