yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
