i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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