i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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