I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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