Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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