Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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