Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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