his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
