saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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