so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
