chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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