god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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