Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This toilet bowl is my home.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
