Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
