Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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