It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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