If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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