Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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