worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
