oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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