also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
