You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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