and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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