I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
