I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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