Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize