The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bring money and cleavage
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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