If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
