i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
