when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
