If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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