just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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