so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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