I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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