Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
