do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
