today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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