She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
