And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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