im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize