I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
