my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
