Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
