NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
