so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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