Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize