Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish i was in the wii world.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
