Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
