honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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