one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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