she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm both gender and math confused
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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