Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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