You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
