Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
