Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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