i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
